"Show me how you suck a guy's cock!" Back in the mid 90's that was my pickup line and girls would just swoon....right into my lap. But the line soon lost it's romantic charm after certain adversaries of mine were copying my style. Those were the days when girls would cream their pants, we're talkin Niagara Falls, if you had the testicular fortitude to send them a water across the bar, but I digress. So I then graduated to "I'm not like those other guys, I have two penises", which I distinctly remember using on Richard Clausen's (Buffalo Grove High School Class of 2001) mom, but my taffy was going limp so I had to put a paper bag over her head. When that didn't work, I went to my arsenal and pulled out the old toilet seat and threw it around her neck, like a fucking horseshoe, finally, I was aroused again. Cumming large bodies of water. I was King of the Hill, Payton's Hill, which is why I'm indebted to Abel Ferrera's 1992 classic, the titular, Bad Lieutenant.
In the Bad Lieutenant, Keitel plays a crooked cop, plagued by drug and gambling addiction, and what unfolds is his luck gets shittier and shittier to the point of his own demise. I like this movie for a number of reasons. It's authentic, no sugar coded bullshit, the real deal.
Some of the best cinematic moments on film are contained in this movie. Harvey Keitel Jesus Christ pose with his taffy flopping about is more touching than It's a Wonderful Life. Same could be said for the "Show me how you suck a guys cock" scene where he pulls two 15 year old girls over, has one girl show her ass while the other girl is emulating giving head and Harvey Keitel's character is jerking off rigorously.
Lastly I like this film because it's uplifting. After a day of sinning, when I come home I can watch the Bad Lieutenant and feel like I'm an amazing contributing member of society and for this I thank Abel Ferrera and his 1992 gem.
